Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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