my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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