He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
time to smoke my breakfast
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
