i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
