It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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