I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
