I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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