apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
