you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Barsexuality is the new black.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
