what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
