I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
