i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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