So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
