What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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