I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
