the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
