my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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