I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize