I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i will never coherently bang her
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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