I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize