i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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