Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
