I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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