I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize