we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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