Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
