I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
