I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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