How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
