Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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