There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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