I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
