I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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