We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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