how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
