i just had sex bonerless
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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