I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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