erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
