real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
420 ftw
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
