what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
