I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
We need to rekindle our bromance
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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