He disabled his match.com account in front of me
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
