I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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