i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
