She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
