4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize