you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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