Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
