Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
where does the pee come out of this thing
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
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