Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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