He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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