Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize