So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
