im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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