Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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