I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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