I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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