She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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