Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
It's not a walk of shame if you run
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
