if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
