i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
