How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
