I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
