i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
